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What Isn't Cheating

Before talking about cheating, it's important to first eliminate what isn't cheating.

Cheating doesn't occur when you have your partner's permission to have an affair with another person.

Cheating doesn't occur when you give your partner permission to have an affair with another person.

What Cheating Is

Like most people in this world, chances are you have not given your partner permission to have an affair.

Chances are your partner hasn't given you permission to have an affair either.

If you or your partner then have an affair, you are cheating... plain and simple!

When Your Partner Cheats On You

"I'm sorry honey, I wasn't thinking. I don't know why I did it. It just happened and it won't happen again. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

No, that isn't Bill Clinton talking, it can be anyone.

This is a common plea for forgiveness. The person knows what they did was wrong and yet they have the audacity to beg for forgiveness.

It's an unwritten law that you don't cheat on your partner. It's not something someone has to be told is wrong. We all know it is wrong yet people cheat anyway and then use ignorance as their excuse.

People who cheat are simply selfish people. They are only concerned about themselves and no-one else.

People who cheat can also say, "this is the way I am and if you don't like it, then I guess you don't love me?"

What these people don't know is that it isn't you who doesn't love them, but rather they don't love themselves. It's very similar to the person who is suspicious in that a person can only be suspicious of what they have done or what they can do.

In this situation, these people cheat to force you into saying, "yes, I love you and I forgive you".

But that isn't love. That's control. In this situation the partner will continue to cheat because they know you don't have the self esteem to leave them. They know that you are afraid to be alone.

Learn to love yourself... and free yourself! Don't be afraid. Your partner doesn't own you.

In other situations, a person who is selfish will cheat just to be cruel and mean. They don't give a damn about anything or anyone, including themselves. They pretend to be this and they pretend to be that, but the bottom line is that they are fake. Completely and totally fake.

Love isn't about cheating on your partner.

Love can't exist when there isn't trust and commitment.

If you are committed to your partner, but your partner isn't committed to you, then you don't have a full relationship. You don't even have 50% of a relationship. You only have 25% of a relationship.

25% of the relationship comes from you.
25% of the relationship comes from your partner.
50% of the relationship comes from you and your partner acting as one.

If all you want is a relationship that is 25% complete, then stay with a partner who cheats.

But if you are serious about love, then do yourself a favour and realize you deserve 100% all the time.

No excuse can justify cheating.

A person doesn't even need to be allowed 1 mistake in terms of cheating because we all know it is wrong.

We know it's wrong and nothing more needs to be said.

When You Cheat On Your Partner

If you cheat on your partner, then what are you doing?

If you say you love your partner, then either you are a phenomenal liar or you really don't know what love is.

If you are serious about love and you have entered a relationship whereby your partner hasn't given you permission to have an affair, then read above. You cheat for all the same reasons.

When You Know Your Partner Cheats Before Dating Him or Her

If you know your partner cheats before you begin to date him or her, then ask yourself why? Why would you date this person?

Do you honestly think the person is going to stop cheating just because of you?

You are foolish to think that you are going to have the ability to change your partner into being a committed partner... because it won't happen.

The only person that can change your partner is your partner themselves, but that won't happen any time soon.

If you know your partner cheats before you date him, then you are falling into a trap. Your partner isn't serious about you. Your partner just wants to use you for sex, money and anything else they can get from you. Once you can no longer provide what they want, you're history.

The relationship will probably end because you catch your partner cheating (again). But this is exactly what your partner wanted to happen. This allows your partner the opportunity to say bye bye to you without any hassles for them. It allows your partner to start this cycle all over again with another person.

People who cheat will use beguiling and manipulative ways of getting you into a relationship with them. It's all about them, not you and it definitely isn't about a committed relationship.

It's about manipulating you to get what they want from you. Nothing more, nothing less.

There is no relationship here. There is no love. Just an illusion of what you hope will be... a hope that will never become reality.

People who choose relationships with known cheaters do so for 1 reason. The reason is because you are scared of love. You know the relationship will fail. Since you are too scared to actually have a relationship with a loving, committed partner, you choose a partner that will ensure another failed relationship.

A partner who is known to cheat will keep the cycle of chaos happening in your life... and that is what you subconsciously want and as a result, that is what you seek in a partner.

Love isn't about chaos and it definitely isn't about cheating.

When your life is chaotic is it impossible for you to have a loving relationship. It is also impossible for you to love yourself. That's what chaos does... that's what the fear of love does too.

Don't be afraid to love yourself. Eliminate the chaos from your life and embrace your self.

Love your self enough to avoid this situation.

If you want to date a partner that is a known cheater, then do yourself a favour.... don't.

When You Discover Your Partner Has Cheated On You

My heart always goes out to those who fall into this situation.

Perhaps after years of marriage or years of dating, you discover the person with whom you shared so much has been cheating on you.

This situation is never easy to deal with, but for me, it simply means that your relationship has come to a point where something isn't working well.

This situation indicates that the relationship is beginning to fall apart.

A loving partner will never cheat. Love is not about hurting someone else.

If your partner cheats on you, then there really isn't love.

The Dangers Of Cheating

In today's world, not only does cheating cause relationships problems, but it can cause other problems too.

Sexually transmitted diseases are far more serious today than ever before.

When a partner cheats on you, then your partner has just increased your chances of getting a disease especially if they have had unprotected sex.

A loving partner would never expose another to such a risk.

There is a huge misconception about what gives and what doesn't give disease. So let's review a little.

We all know about HIV, but did you know there are now more than 20 types of sexually transmitted diseases and they infect more than 13 million men and women in the USA each year! That's just the USA... imagine the whole world!

Although there are other diseases such as gonorrhea, syphilis, chlamydia and genital herpes to be concerned with, I am going to give you sources of HIV infection.

Highest Risk:

• Vaginal sexual intercourse without a condom.

• Anal intercourse with or without a suitable condom.

• Fellatio especially if the man climaxes.

• Any sexual activity that draws blood. This can either be on purpose or by accident.

• Sharing sex toys especially those sex toys that penetrate such as dildos, vibrators, etc.

• Inserting fingers, hands or tongue into the anus.

Moderate Risk:

• Vaginal intercourse with a quality condom.

• Love bites or scratching that breaks the skin.

• Anal licking or kissing.

• Sexual activities involving urination.

• Mouth to mouth kissing if either partner has bleeding gums or cold sores.

• Cunnilingus using a latex barrier.

• Fellatio using a condom.

Risk Free:

• Dry kissing.

• Wet kissing a partner as long as neither you nor your partner has a cold sore or bleeding gums.

• Playing with and touching your partner's genitals with your hands.

• Self masturbation.

• Cheek to cheek kissing.

Testing:

Don't be afraid to ask your partner to go for a sexually transmitted disease test with you. Obviously, it is more important to get this test done before sex than after.

HIV can take from 3 to 6 months to appear in blood tests.

You can always get more information on sexually transmitted diseases and how to practice safe sex by visiting the "Ask Noah" web page.

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